“Fake It Till You Make It”? I don’t believe it.

In one of my hypnotherapy clinics, I was talking with our group about self-confidence and how to improve it.

I’d been thinking about how important confidence is, not only for small business, but in all walks of life.  Strong self -confidence is one of those qualities that seems to open doors for people and draw others to us.  It sends a nonverbal message to all around us, and almost always speaks louder than the mere words out of our mouths.

And I noticed that a lot of clients’ issues boiled down to a lack of confidence in some aspect of their lives.

Curiously, I also noticed that there wasn’t much that had been expressly written on how to boost confidence.

So I brought this topic up at the group, and asked how we can improve our self confidence.   One of my colleagues said, “Oh, that’s easy.  Just fake it till you make it, and then you’ll have it.”

That explanation never sat well with me, and I finally figured out why:

“Fake it till you make it” basically means to tell yourself something that isn’t true, right?

Is that any different than telling yourself a lie?  I don’t think so.

It’s worth pointing out that the word “confidence” has  roots of “com” (with) + “fidere” ( to trust).

Now imagine that another person was telling you something that wasn’t true; in effect, lying to you.  Would you trust that person?

And what if that person were telling you something that wasn’t in true, and never did come true, would you continue to trust them?  Would you have confidence in them?

Obviously, I don’t think you would.  In fact, I think you would have a substantial loss of trust and confidence in that person.

So, if you want to tell yourself something and “fake it till you make it”, it seems very likely that you’re going to be going in the exact opposite direction of where you want to be.

Which begs the question- how do we build confidence?   That’s a topic for a future blog… stay tuned!

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